I can do hard things

Very early this morning a young woman gave birth to a stillborn baby boy.  I don't know her name, but I met her baby briefly.  My sweet friend, Jolie, volunteered to photograph him so his mother would have some small memory to hold onto until she gets to hold him again. It was an experience that I really don't have words to describe.  There was a tender peacefulness in the room as Jolie and I worked to create memories, the nurses called this little man by name, and we could overhear them trying to find small ways to help his mother.  We went along when they took him to his mama, to photograph her with her baby, the only photos she will have with him.  It was such a private moment, yet I did not feel out of place.  As I sit here writing about this, it occurs to me that the feeling in that room was much like what I feel in the temple.  It is like being wrapped up in love.  The love of this young mother for her baby, her mother's love for her, and the love of the Savior for all of them was almost tangible.

I took my camera but never took it out of it's case.  I felt that this was so private that it would have been inappropriate.  I couldn't really express that at the time, but I would describe the photos as intimate, and the mother should be the one to decide who sees them.

Ammonia is AWESOME

So for years I've been trying to figure out how to clean the underside of the hood over my stove...somehow I don't think that's what it's really called, but you know what I mean now, right?  I've tried Goo Gone, dish soap, Windex, orange stuff, Lysol, and probably some other stuff too.  None of it worked and I gave up.  Recently my refrigerator developed a big ugly black spot on the side of it...don't ask me how these things happen, cause I have no idea.  Anyway, when I was trying to clean it I remembered that when Lilly was born my mother-in-law came to visit and she cleaned my house (she's pretty awesome).  Callie (my MIL) cleaned homes for YEARS to support her kids as a single mom....so what I'm saying is, she knows her stuff.  I remember that she bought ammonia to clean the textured plastic on the high chair.  Honestly I didn't pay much attention at the time.  I had a 17 month old baby, a newborn, a crappy husband, and postpartum depression...I'm amazed I remember anything she did or said!  So, here I am almost 18 years later and remembered the ammonia and thought I'd try it on my textured refrigerator.  A jug of it at Wal-Mart was $1.25, so totally OK if it didn't work.  Today I tried it...and OH MY GOSH!  It's like a freaking miracle product!!!!!  What the heck?!?!  Why didn't I try this years ago?  And guess WHAT? it totally cleaned the years of greasy buildup off my hood thingy!!!!  

AND the textured door handle on my fridge too!

 It's a little hard to tell in this photo, but that handle is completely WHITE!

Ok, so I know it's ridiculous to be so excited, but you should see my hood...which I did not photograph...just because I think it's older than me and even cleaned it's still pretty ugly.   So that's my excitement for today!

boys will be boys...

At work today one of my commercial clients needed a personal auto policy because his 15 year old son got his license today (story of my life, everything needs to be done today!).  So anyway, father and son came in just before 5 and since I hadn't met them in person before we visited for a few minutes.  The father declined to shake my hand as his were dirty, but his son came right over and took me by the hand, and didn't let go...I think he was just a little excited about getting his license!  I was asking the son about driver's training and discovered he goes to the same school as Erin and is the same age, so I asked if he knows her....oh my...the reaction was completely obvious....his eyes lit up and he said he had three classes with her last year.  I sent them off to our personal insurance expert, but came back to check on them before I left.  I walked in as Suzi was telling the son not to let anyone else drive his car.  You know me, I had to tease him a little, so I said, "not even cute girls".  He's a quick one, he said, "well I don't have Erin's number anyway"...I think his Dad was a little embarassed!  I laughed and said "yep, she's cute!".

So there's my cute story for the day!

And here's my cute girl:

feeling the love...

Today in Sacrament meeting I noticed that a friend of mine was struggling a little with her three small children all by herself (her husband works in North Dakota). I was about to send Erin over to help her when the family in front of her took the oldest and another family took the youngest.  I was touched by their love.  I remember struggling with three small children by myself and remember well the times that people reached out to help me with them. 

In addition to that, today is my birthday and I have been overwhelmed by the facebook greetings and the number of people at church who wished me a happy birthday....yep, definitely feeling the love today!

a plethora of pregnancies

Good golly Miss Molly!  Lots of pregnant women around lately!  Jolie has been posting on facebook about her morning sickness, which makes me grateful for two things, one: that I never actually threw up with any of my pregnancies, and two: that I will never be pregnant again!  At work today I almost literally ran into the pregnant girl who works downstairs as I was going into the bathroom, looking at her belly (she's due like any minute), I remembered some of the discomforts of the later stages of pregnancy and was again very grateful that I will not be doing that again!

I do enjoy babies, but I have finally reached that stage of life where I am perfectly happy to play with other people's babies!  So Jolie, when that baby arrives I'll be over for hot chocolate and a baby fix!  And dearest Melissa, you really need to come back to Idaho so Peter can be with his favorite auntie!

Being Single

I've begun to see the advantages of singleness....I read an article the other day that expressed it very well. Here's a quote:

You know what is really easy? Being single. Yes, there are some things you have to deal with as a single person: loneliness, independence, no children, lack of physical affection, the whole eternal salvation question . . . but these issues aside, I have mastered the art of being single. It is not hard.

In fact, it is way easier than dating. I know what I want. I know what I need to do and how I want to be dealt with on any given night. I know what TV shows I want to watch and which I want to record on my DVR. I don’t ever have to wonder about my feelings or if I need to me more sensitive to myself or if I need to spend more time showing myself how I feel about myself.

And click here  for the whole article, in case you're interested.


I was talking to a friend yesterday about this, she just got married after being single for about 2 years.  She was saying that it's an adjustment to be married again.  I think I might have a hard time adjusting to marriage too.  I feel like I was living like a single person in many ways for most of my 20 year marriage because Tom didn't want to do anything for so long that I started just doing whatever I wanted and left him home on the couch.  I would like to be married again though, there are things I miss...I've probably said this before, but the first thing that comes to mind is having someone to warm my cold toes in bed at night!  Tom used to just LOVE that...and if you believe that I've got some oceanfront property in Idaho to sell ya...

Letting go

I took Grandma to the temple again today, but she's not as well as she used to be so lately we just go to the cafeteria and have lunch.  On the way we passed the Denning's Furnitupe store.  She asked me what "furnitupe" is.  I explained that part of the R broke off leaving what looks like a P.  She said, "oh, I was worried".  I laughed and told her she could relax now that she knows what it is.  A moment later she said "this is me relaxing" I looked over and she was holding her arms up by her face. I laughed and she laughed too.  I'm gonna miss her when she's gone!  Further down the road she said, "cows sent ya?" and then she laughed again...I thought she was being a little crazy until I remembered that there's a Chik fil A billboard right about where she made that comment.  She's still pretty sharp at times, other times you can see her fading away.  Today she told me that she thinks a part fell out and pointed at her head.  I asked her what she was going to do about it and she looked a little confused so I suggested just letting it go, and she agreed.

We had lunch in the cafeteria and visited with several friends. Cindy works in the cafeteria and asked that we come in on June 9th, the day before Grandma's birthday, to have cake.  She asked the cook to put carrot cake on the schedule for that day because it's Grandma's favorite.  Grandma asked several people to pray that she lives another month so she can be there.

Sometimes letting go is hard.